6 years ago…
There was a point in my life where I couldn’t stand to look at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t stand to see the horrible person I was. Everyday I felt like I was letting God and myself down. I felt like I was always bothering someone, that I didn’t belong or fit in. And when I did finally, “fit in”, I lied to myself so that others would like me. I get it, high school is hard. You constantly are seeking the approval of others. You want people to notice you. Or you want someone to just love you. But, no matter what age you are, the devil is always going to try his best to get you at your weakest point, and for me, that’s my self esteem.
Ever been there before? Have you ever felt like you are just floating around constantly seeking the approval of others? Or have you ever gone so far as harming yourself and your body because you couldn’t stand who you were and what you looked like? It’s ok if you have, because I have too. And the crazy thing about it all is, its a lie straight from the devil himself.
6 years later…
I love who I am. I love all my flaws, my curves, my thighs. I understand that I was made for a purpose and I was not a mistake. I rejoice now because I understand that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am not a mistake. God’s plan for me is so much larger than what I could ever think of. There are still days were I do not feel good enough and I start to compare myself to people who are “better looking than me”, or “have more going on than I do”, but that thought never lasts long. And when I do start to feel unloved, unworthy, or I don’t feel confident… I pray. I pray that God rids those thoughts out of my head and my heart. Because I promise those feelings and thoughts are not from God.
It’s ok to have bad days. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to be upset. BUT do not dwell on it. Get up. Do your makeup. Stand tall. Buy yourself flowers. The pain and brokenness you may feel now is only temporary.
YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU ARE LOVED. You are more than enough, I promise. You are more than enough because your Savior Jesus Christ, says that you are. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:13-14 || For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.