Last weekend the sermon at my church was on toxic relationships. The sermon was great (I will link it down below) and there were many great points made on forgiveness and conflict. However, as a woman in her twenties, the phrase “toxic relationship” has a completely different meaning to me (as I am sure it does to many young adults my age). I want to take a different look at it & give my side of what I wish was spoken about.
When I hear the phrase “toxic relationship” many different images, situations, and personal circumstances come to my mind. For starters, the word “unhealthy” flashes in red, bold letters in my mind. I see a great amount of people who are in these unhealthy/toxic relationships. Many of them who may not even see that the actions and behaviors displayed in the relationship are even “toxic” or “unhealthy”. If you have to do anything and everything possible to get your partners attention or acknowledgement, then that’s a red flag you’re in an unhealthy relationship.
What I wish was touched on during the sermon is the acknowledgement of knowing when to flee from a toxic relationship and how to heal from the brokenness. For a long time I was in somewhat of denial and didn’t exactly consider my relationship to be unhealthy. I had the best times of my life during this season, but there were also so many low points for me that it’s hard to just ignore them (which is what I tried to do). You can’t hide happiness, but you sure as hell can hide unhappiness.
Now, having time to reflect on the things I’ve gone through, breaking up and getting back together, the loss of Jesus at the center of the relationship, comparison, manipulation and not being treated right, is all very much so, unhealthy. It breaks my heart to say and admit that none of that is considered “love.” I use to solely rely on God to help me through the situation, crying till 4 in the morning, begging him to change my circumstance. I completely ignored him when he told me to flee and to let go. I am not saying that God doesn’t have any control over your situation if you are in a toxic relationship, but you too have a say in what happens. You have the choice to make to flee or stay. At the end of the day, God is in control. He has a plan for your life, even if that means going through several valleys. I know now what I deserve and how I should be treated. I’ve learned who I am more than I ever thought. I absolutely have zero idea what my future holds, but I firmly believe it’s nothing short of happiness and blessings.
In no way do I want to come off as bashing, but I really wanted to just share my thoughts on this topic, honestly just hoping someone can relate or find this enlightening.
The Church of Eleven 22 – Toxic Relationships: https://subspla.sh/6733j5d