I have missed writing my thoughts down and sharing them with you guys. While I do write a lot, I just don’t always take the time to type it out and share. So today, I am sharing some life updates and some lessons that I have learned within the last few months.
The biggest lesson and hardship I have been dealing with is failure and trusting that God has a plan. Recently, I applied for nursing school. I was so relieved and thankful when I finally submitted the application. There were a few things that went wrong with the application and I quickly fixed them. I was confident that I was going to get in. Turns out, I didn’t get into the upcoming spring program. I missed the cut off by 0.887 points. 0.887 points. This number has been running through my head for several weeks now. Initially, I didn’t know really what to think when I read that email. I was shocked and heartbroken. God, why didn’t I get into this upcoming semester? Is it not my calling to become a nurse? What do I do now?
Now, after spending time with God and figuring out my next steps, I am confident in God’s plan for me and I am confident in saying that I do trust Jesus with my future. I trust him with my future career, my future relationships, and my life.
I’ve been doing some reflecting on this past year as I approach my birthday that is at the end of this week, specifically in two days. It blows my mind that last year at this time, I was doing the same thing. I was in a completely different place that year and I thank God for all the lessons he has taught me within this past year.
I’ve gone through heartbreak in more ways than one. I’ve tried to fixed and heal my heart in again, more ways than one. I know that Jesus is the only one who can fully satisfy the cravings of my heart. I have to remind myself of this quite often when I get caught up in the idea that I can handle things on my own.
I’ve had to learn to love myself in whole. I have struggled with who I am in Christ, as I am sure many of you have before. I know I am loved. I know I am worthy. I know I have beautiful and precious to the Father. Some days I have a hard time believing these truths that the Lord has said, but when it comes down to it, God’s love and grace he showers over me is more than what I deserve. I am so thankful for that.
This is a big one. I’ve learned more that you cannot please everyone (and thank goodness you don’t have too because it is exhausting!!!). There will always be people trying to scheme against you and distract you from what you are focusing on. I’ve learned to focus on you. You cannot control what someone thinks or says about you.
Finally, and I think most importantly, I have learned that seasons of waiting are necessary for spiritually growth. They sometimes can be the hardest seasons because you don’t know what God’s plan for you is, but that is also what makes the waiting seasons amazing. The Father isn’t going to give you anything less than beautiful. Sometimes we tend to think that setbacks and trials are meant to hurt us, but God uses that to build and growth us for the future plans he has for you. God has the power and authority to make things better. Jesus is in authority over every aspect of your life. It is about time we step back, relinquish control to him, and follow the one who knows better than we do.