There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens – Ecclesiastes 3:1
There is a time and a season for everything under the sun. This can be taken into any part of your life, but today I am going to tie this into relationships and friendships. There is a time and a place for certain relationships and friendships. First, I would like to set the stage up for us before we get into the deep, heavy unpacking.
Everyday we encounter people. Whether you’re at coffee shop, gas station, grocery store, work, even at home. How are you acting? What does your actions and character say about you? For me, I have made an effort to be as open as I can to strangers that I encounter on a daily basis. You never know what someone may be going through, so I think it is extremely important, especially if you are a believer, to show kindness and a smile to anyone you come in contact with. You never know who you could proclaim the gospel too and it won’t kill you to show humanity to someone else. Get off your phone and make connections!
Now, that is slightly off topic of what I wanted to really dive into, but honestly it needed to be said. This year the Holy Spirit really brought to the surface areas in my life that I needed to have more attention too. One of them being, my friendships and relationships with others and I really want to unpack this. This is going to come off as harsh, but I promise I will dive into it more, but sometimes you have to love from a distance. As hard of a decision as it may be, there are times when you have to either remove yourself from a group of people or simply distance yourself. God has really placed this heavily on my heart and mind this year.
Think about it, some relationships we have are most likely dead weight. “We have been friends forever so I can’t stop being their friend”, “that person is my best friend, I couldn’t distance myself from them”, “even though they aren’t always benefiting me, I have to be friends with them or else I wouldn’t have friends.” YEP, I will say it loud for the people in the back THESE ARE EXCUSES. Plain and simple, people.
If you are not benefiting from a relationship/friendship then it’s time to step back and reevaluate the purpose and reason you have that person in your life. If you are not constantly being filled with encouragement, life, and love from someone, they got to go or at least you need to distance yourself from them. You can 100 percent still love someone by taking a step back, if anything it shows that you love them and you want what is best for the both of you. You shouldn’t feel like you’re a burden in a friendship or you shouldn’t feel overlooked. You SHOULD NOT be hanging out with people who you know go against your values and lead you down a path that if full of nonsense or temptation.
I’m 22 and this is a hard pill to swallow because I know there have and are people in my life who certainly do not benefit my life. However, I am so grateful for the progression of my relationship with the Father that I hear what he says and I know that what he says is true. It is a daily surrender to let go and understand that he is working for my benefit, but it is a daily surrender that I am willing to part take in.
I have some action steps for you to take if you are on the fence with someone either being a liability or an asset to your life!
- Get in community – join a church, volunteer at your church, get in a disciple group that you can benefit and grow from.
- Surround yourself with like minded Christians – take action & get out of your comfort zone to make new friends with the same values as yourself.
- Let go & surrender – let go of the relationships that you find are not for your best interest. Pray to God about this, I promise you he will show you who needs to stay & who needs to go.
- Be obedient towards Christ – if you get a word from God that you need to let someone go or distance yourself from someone, obey him!! You will benefit greatly from listening to the one who knows all things will work for his glory and your benefit.
As always, I love feedback and hearing what you have to say! Feel free to message me or comment your thoughts!